closer than ever.
Council fun! We had fun at council playing murderer and being drama. Xiong sort-of-in-a-way eventually joined us. ZY and Sabby are still avoiding the whole thing all together (though Sabby is pretty happy she's in love with him). Then some of us went and celebrated Wei Shan's birthday, which was fun cuz we sat there and crapped for damn long and i only reached home like now (1.31 am). They're at Shruti's house, where there is a beach. I got to get a ride from Steffi's dad... He drives a way cool car!Oh and i had a flashback to when me, meiyi, kahlini (sp?), sherry and shihao were at East Coast Beach, and Shi Hao was like loning between kahlini and sherry and me and meiyi. instead of those people, it was steffi and dao jie on my left, and xian jie and shi hua on my right...
Meiyi, are you doing fine?
One thing which i learn today is that I cannot judge people anymore. Like, i am unable to read them anymore. this may be a side effect of the Polar Bear games we played today... Too much suspicion.
Hi Crush. I really, really don't know what to do anymore. It seems to me like you like them older cooler guys more. Immediately switching to their p.o.v. Agreeing with them. Basically, 'sucking up' to them. Today was the closest we've ever been (we had skin contact!) and all the time we were hanging out at Esplanade i was wishing i could have you by my side to enjoy the moon and the night sky together. But you... you are so damn ambiguous. There was so much I wanted to say to you since school today but it's all forgotten. Do you like me too or not? Don't let me guess in misery. But with grace to your judgement, my decision is based on my own careful consideration. Right now another person is between us, and this person is giving more hope than you're giving me right n ow. My Want-therefore-Lose and Don't-Want-therefore-Don't Care theory worked. I love you. I'm just wishing i could hold your hand. You talk to my friend and tell her everything just because she's next to you. Shit. I want you talking to me.
I really need a drink. An alcoholic one. To get away. You know Crush? I either plunge myself into work, or i get high on trance music. Either i can't face this Crushing face-on as Jun Wei says or... I can't. I'll try, but i can't. You're too beautiful. I love you.
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