emo, tickled and touched all at the same time.

Wow. Before anything, I want to put this poem up:

The coffee’s never strong enough.

For a friend.

You departed on a journey,

(Eva Air, boarding time 1100, gates close at 1130)

Along with 34 other people,

A journey of discovery (of self, others, and so much more).

1. Don’t expect anything, and you’ll get more than you ever hoped for.

Flashing colours, flamboyant clothes,

Exaggerated actions, singing high notes,

(You were a Player – why change what’s au natural?)

All led to you, being called gay.

“Wow, perfect face.” X said,

After merely a week, she was the one, he most wanted dead.

2. It’s no use being pretty on the outside, when you’re ugly inside.

Merciless teasing, shameful pimping,

Such unfriendly circumstances

Pushed us together, led to stolen chats, deep into the night.

There had to be more to this, you came to find yourself,

You wanted to be a flawless person,

Just like all the others.

3. Everyone has their secrets and faults.

Sleep as a necessity,

A temporary avenue of escape, I am a courageous person,

(isn’t that what we’ve been taught to be since young?)

I face my problems face on.

So you started on the coffee,

From having never drank before, to a daily minimum of three.

4. There is a reason God made us to dream.

Caffeine, when too much is taken, loses its effect.

Let’s move on to alcohol, after all, “I’m a big boy now.”

Too much, too much (only slightly lucid)

What could be wrong, I had people around me,

They were drinking too! (And ain’t that cool.)

Too much, too much (Fuck off, you bitch)

Some found you funny, other’s found you mad.

The ones that got pissed are those that really cared.

5. You gained new friends, but you lost some too.

Changing, morphing, evolving, remodeling.

A journey of discovery, did you lose yourself?

Changing, developing, modifying, advancing.

A journey of discovery, you found me, and I found you.

(who ever said you were the only one searching, on this trip.)

Changing, Searching, Learning, Growing.

You tried to be perfect,

You got that much closer,

You should have asked me from the start,

(I felt you always were.)

-- A.L.

I think some of you can guess who wrote this. But well, I have never had a poem written about me. Thank you Andrea, it's people like you who remind me I'm still loved in this place. Arrgh I really like the poem. I don't know how to say it, it's as though while it shamed me to be reminded of all that happened back in Taiwan, it was still a very deeply touching analysis of me (i know you're a reader) and it felt like i mattered. Sigh sorry taiwan people. I really love you and if I could I would change the past.

I'll keep it forever.

Today was very very emo. Crush was everywhere and, ask Junwei and Mel Ho, I was darn emo even when campagning. Thank god I had fun with my jazz band (i will advertise soon enough; i'm speaking spanish onstage!), and had Muthu, Lydia, Shu and Sabby to laugh my ass off with. I couldn't stop laughing until 50 m away from the bus-stop I alighted at. So yes, I was laughing to myself. Thanks guys. It was damn funny all the scenarios. We should make a movie.

Well, now, back to me and the computer and thinking about Crush. It'll kill me one day, and I wish I let it go, but I can't. Sigh. I'm never shy, but this is different. I can't explain the way I'm feeling tonight... I'm losing control of my heart. From "I Can't Read You" by Daniel Bedingfield, one of the songs from last post.

Sigh. Wish me luck with the weekend. Tomorrow got Council filming, then Othello GM, then yay HX, Andrea, Serene crazy relax day. Whoo.

posted by wei @ 10:28 PM