the tender, tender threads of life.

for me, it's really scary to realise that my existence was the last in my family. What if they had stopped at 5? I wouldn't even exist, and the world would be a different (perhaps better, I don't know) place. Definitely, for me (at least right now), my world would be much better if i hadn't existed. I try to imagine what life would be like without some of the people i know in this world, and they do make hell of a difference with their presence. Are you one of these people? Can you confidently tell yourself that 'yes, this world would have been a worse place for many people if I wasn't here'?

I can't. Not to my friends, not to my family, not even to myself. I'm doing myself a disfavour by existing. Maybe I have people who love me out there, just maybe, and I thank all of them (or you, if you're reading) for it. And i do love many people out there. But I still cannot say I have made this world much better.

Reflect on your life. Learn from other's mistakes, cuz we don't live long enough to make them all ourselves. And with regards to this, even if you learnt it in your lifetime, the corrective measures will be too late.

(the reason I'm writing this post is I just realised that sometimes, there are situations when I am just that somebody that walks along the street, the somebody that if died, will draw a quick gasp of shock from my acquaintances, then nothing else. i'm trying very hard to cling on to the tender threads of life and relationships. i say and do things i regret, and i admit i am wrong.

the next time i am adamant about my being right when I really knew i was wrong, do understand.)

Mark, there. interpret the above in whatever way you want, and if you think your shrewd judgement at Yoshinoya today was amazing and appropriate for that situation... well. Yong Hao, please don't comment stuff because I hardly post emo stuff ok. I'm just feeling really down now. Jin Kai, i say stuff I regret. to continue this cold war will be immature. i won't say sorry, because i don't want to not mean it, but i am apologetic.

thanks, mum.

posted by wei @ 10:40 PM