remember?

I remember a time, when I was younger, when upon waking up (even before brushing my teeth!), I would run down to my brother's room to play Diablo. When lunch was ready at around 12, I'd go down and while eating watch a useless home decor show on Channel 5 (those that no one watches). In the afternoon, if i'm not playing the game, I'd be chatting with people, or reading an Agatha Christie. And if i'm lucky, in the night, I'd be packing my bag for a stayover, going to bed at around 10 to feel excited about the next day's party.

I wouldn't have to have a single piece of work in my mind. I wouldn't have to carry a piece of work in my bag everywhere I go so that i can finish. I won't have to pretend to be late for school so that I can finish my work. I don't have to have no idea how I fell asleep, or wake up with the first painful thought being the ones of unfinished work.

when I was younger, the world was a much simpler place. people were only people, they didn't have subtexts, there were no tender threads of relationships between everyone. i could offend someone and not speculate about the possible outcomes. I had a simple philosophy to deal with all problems in life: "I hate it, and I can't do anything about it. please let it be over and let me have my life back." i didn't have to face the consequences of realisation. i didn't care as much about the reality of society. i didn't have to try and fit myself in between the crevices of freedom in the grand scheme of things (who drew it up anyway?), and try my hardest to be myself in the sharp stares of the people around me.

where i stand now, i'm am not younger. and i miss those days.

posted by wei @ 12:53 PM